Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
