you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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