I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
