i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
