dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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