you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
