so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
