Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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