Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He has the fingertips of a God
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
