in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Michael Bay diarrhea
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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