don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
