Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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