Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
