Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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