That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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