I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
