Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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