Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
