Well douche your snatch and let's go!
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
