no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
