32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
