shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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