Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Its about making memories worth repressing
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
