I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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