He told me they were just razor bumps!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
