There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
