isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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