addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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