Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
sex in a hospital.. check
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
