So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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