We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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