It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
