Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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