I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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