Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize