First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
