I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
