STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
