PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
