It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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