she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
