Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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