I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
