I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
