If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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