So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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