honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
