dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
