haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
