I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize