i jhust puked up my retainher.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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