Do you still have your period?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
