Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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