Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
