Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I want to fling myself into the sun
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize