What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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