found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
