It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
