Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
