I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
