i think my tv is drunk
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
