bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
