am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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