My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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