I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I would ride that face into the sunset
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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